Life in PPTH
by Psychotic Hollywood
Summary: Life for our two favorites doctors, House and Wilson, in Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital! And some others. Occasionally.
1. Water Bottle

**Water Bottle**

_by Psychotic Hollywood_

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Disclaimer: I do not own House M.D. or any of the characters involved with the show.

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"Stop playing with my water bottle, Allison," Cuddy said, walking into her office. As soon as she'd peered through the glass doors, she'd seen Cameron tossing her one and only expensive water bottle in between her hands. "So what did House do this time?"

Cameron shrugged. "Nothing. I'm just a bit bored. House wouldn't do any of the cases we offered him." She grinned. "You know, that comment about the water bottle sounded really dirty. Maybe it's just me, but..."

Cuddy smiled herself and shook her head. "Well, now that you've pointed it out it sounds bad."

"So, have _you _been playing with any water bottles lately, Lisa?" Cameron asked, giggling.

"No," Cuddy answered, "but from what I hear, you have." When Cameron blushed, Cuddy added, "So how _is _Chase?"

Cameron bumped her friend's shoulder with her own. "Shut up."

The two left the office, girlish giggles still escaping. As they entered the hall, Wilson passed, talking to a nurse.

"Oh, House doesn't have his own water bottle," the oncologist was saying. "He tends to just steal mine when he wants something."

Cuddy and Cameron stared at Wilson as he walked away, mouths hanging open and eyes wide.

"I, um... didn't realize..." Cameron stuttered. Both females erupted into giggles a moment later.

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**A/N: **This was inspired by an inside joke with us and Alice and Bella. I (Psychotic) carry around a pink water bottle -- same as Wilson's, but pink -- and there's some very dirty meanings involved with that... And so Hollywood and I thought it was kind of funny how House drinks out of Wilson's water bottle...

Yeah, I think you get it. xD

_Psychotic_**Hollywood**


	2. Passing Notes

**AN:** Hello, this is HollywoodVampire! Umm, so this story is basically about House and Wilson getting into a fight. It may be a tiny bit OOC, but my excuse is that it's based on a true event. I don't know if it's my best work but whatever…please review!! I'll give you cookies!!

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"Wilson, what's the date today?" Cuddy asked, looking up from her pile of paperwork. Wilson, who was sitting behind his desk helping Cuddy with the reports, smiled and shook his head.

"It's the day before your birthday and you forgot the date?" He asked incredulously.

"What? Oh, I guess I did." Sighing Cuddy scribbled the date on a paper and moved on to the next one. "I'm just a little out of it I guess. All this paperwork is making me go cross-eyed." She took a sip of her coffee before adding, "Thanks for helping me out by the way."

"No problem." Wilson said. He didn't mind helping Cuddy out, after all it was her birthday tomorrow so he should be nice, and it got his mind off the several terminal patients he had at the moment. Suddenly the door opened, admitting a slightly tired looking House.

"Hello Wilson," he greeted, sitting on the edge of the desk. Wilson sighed, looked at Cuddy apologetically, and turned to face the other man.

"Hello House, and to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"No reason. I was just bored and decided you should entertain me." House explained. He grabbed a plastic toy off of Wilson desk and began to play with it, tossing it between his hands. After a few seconds of that he sighed and tossed the toy across the room, searching for something else to do. He spotted the computer and eagerly limped over to it.

"House, what are you doing?" Cuddy asked, looking over his shoulder. House ignored her and continued to type random things into Google.

"Why are you ignoring me?" But House, because he was ignoring her, didn't answer. Wilson rolled his eyes and stepped between House and the computer.

"What totally obscure and random thing did she do that you decided to hold against her?" He asked. House sighed and glared at the younger oncologist.

"She didn't wear the red blouse I told her to wear." He complained. Wilson stifled a laugh.

"Excuse me?"

"I told her to wear the low cut red blouse today, and she didn't! What part didn't you understand?"

"Two parts actually. The part about why you actually thought she'd do it, and the part about why you asked her in the first place." House sighed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I asked her because it would entertain me," House explained. "And I thought she'd do it because I'm House. Everyone does what I ask." Wilson rolled his eyes at House's self-centeredness.

"You're an idiot." He commented.

"Am not. So are you going to move or not?"

Wilson remained silent and did not move.

"Wilson!" House put on his I-hate-you-so-go-away-because-I'm-grumpy face. Wilson challenged it with his I-know-you're-annoyed-and-that's-why-I-am-going-to-continue-bugging-you face. House narrowed his eyes and punched Wilson in the arm. The oncologist let out a yelp and rubbed the injured spot, glaring at him.

"What the hell was that for?!" Wilson shouted. Cuddy, who had been silent this whole time, rushed to Wilson's side. House didn't answer.

"Are you ignoring _me_ now?" Wilson asked amazed. House promptly grabbed his cane and walked out of the office, most likely going to terrorize his team. Wilson sighed and went back to his desk.

"He is so immature!" He complained.

"Yes he is." Cuddy agreed, picking back up on the reports. Wilson attempted to concentrate, but he kept thinking back to House. He knew the miserable cripple wasn't actually mad at him, more like highly annoyed, but Wilson didn't like it. A silent House was unnerving. After a few minutes Wilson decided to get lunch. Cuddy opted to stay and work, so Wilson walked down the hallway alone, risking a peek into House's office. The older man was talking with Chase, and as Wilson passed by, he heard him say.

"Chase, you are now officially my favorite." Wilson opened his mouth indignantly and has the sudden urge to punch the little blonde Australian out, but instead hurried past and practically ran into the cafeteria.

After marveling in the rare opportunity of eating his lunch in peace Wilson began to miss House. He decided to resolve this issue and pulled out his prescription pad, ripping off a sheet and turning it over to the blank side.

_House,_

_What do you want me to do? I'm sorry about whatever stupid thing I did to annoy you. And, knowing you, you will hold this against me until I do something so I will be an enabler and feed your stupid narcissism. I'm sorry for annoying you._

_Wilson_

Satisfied, Wilson walked out of the cafeteria and silently entered House's office. He set the note on his desk and walked out. About fifteen minutes later House walked into Wilson's office, handed him a different prescription, and walked away. On the back it read:  
_Wilson,_

_Thank you. You are still not forgiven._

_House_

Sighing, Wilson pulled out another script and wrote:

_House,_

_What so you want me to do? Go to the clinic and shout it across the room?_

_Wilson_

He gave the note to a passing nurse and asked her to give the message to House. Ten minutes later she came back with another script.

_Wilson,_

_Yes_

_House_

"Crap." Wilson had been kidding about the clinic thing. Apparently House didn't take it that way. He sighed and debated weather he should do it or not.

"Oh what the hell," He said, deciding this was his only option. He walked to the clinic and told a nurse to page House. Surprisingly, the diagnostician showed up, stopping just inside the doorway. Taking a deep breath, Wilson walked into the middle of the busy clinic.

"I'M SORRY HOUSE!!"

Every one looked at him like he had grown a second head, and looked like he'd grown a third when House limped over and hugged him.

"This is just for effect right." Wilson asked.

"Oh yea." House replied, causing Wilson to laugh.

"So we're good?"

"Yep."

"Good." And with that Wilson kidnapped House's cane and walked away.

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**AU:** This was based on a fight Psychotic and I had. She was mad cuz I wouldn't let her check her email so she punched me and didn't talk to me or our friend Bella (IStarEdwardCullen1221) for an hour and a half. We wrote notes back and forth and she said the only way she'd forgive me was if I yelled I was sorry across our science room. So I did.


	3. Text Message

**Text Message**

_by Psychotic Hollywood_

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Disclaimer: I do not own House M.D. or any of the characters involved with that show.

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An annoying, obnoxious beeping pattern sounded, shocking James Wilson out of his book-world. He picked up his cell phone and realized that he had gotten a text message. Who the hell would be texting him?

Wilson opened his message and groaned. It was that miserable cripple of a friend of his, House.

House and Wilson had just bought texting packages for their phones. Wilson had been wary, but he had eventually given in the temptation.

"Wilsoooooooon... I'm booooooooooored..." it read. The oncologist rolled his eyes and typed out, "Live with it, House," before sending it.

No message was returned until almost fifteen minutes later. This one said, "I have to piss."

Wilson chose to ignore this text, hoping to discourage his friend from annoying him.

One came but two minutes later. "I am going to go piss."

This one the oncologist ignored as well.

And another one after fourty-five seconds. "I am pissing."

Ignore...

"I'm flushing the toilet and typing with one hand."

Ignoring...

"I'm leaving the bathroom."

Ignoreignoreignoreignoreignore.

"I am sitting back down."

Ignooooore...

"I'm hungry."

IGNOREIGNOREIGNOREINGORE.

"Wilsooooon... I'm boooooooored...!!"

James Wilson finally snapped. He picked up his cell phone and swiftly texted back. "HOUSE. SHUT. UP."

It was peace and quiet in the hotel room again.

Until three that morning, when the oncologist's phone beeped obnoxiously again.

This time, the message read, "Wilsooooon... I'm huuuuuungryyyyyy..."

Wilson just turned the damn phone off.

He would have to block texting on his phone the next morning.

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**A/N:** This was also inspired by an experience between Hollywood and I. I was really bored and couldn't sleep one night, so I texted her, saying, "Wilsoooooon... I'm boooooored... And I'm half-asleeeeeep... but I can't sleeeeeeeep..." So yes, it was very obnoxious. xD

I also once texted her saying that I had to pee, and that I wasn't sure whether I wanted to get up or not. She was probably a bit annoyed by me. xD

_Psychotic_**Hollywood**


End file.
